starfleetrambo:

922703:

thotzekage:

thotzekage:

thotzekage:

thotzekage:

thotzekage:

I’m gonna apply for a job at Gordon Ramsay new restaurant and I’m gonna get it

I submitted my application and resume

I GOT THE FUCKING INTERVIEW

My interview is in a few hours. I got this but wish me luck

I GOT THE FUCKING JOB

reblog for good luck

intranet:

orionis-delta:

intranet:

codeine-3:

intranet:

Y'all really see [REDACTED] and hit that reblog button, huh?

what does this say i just saw [REDACTED] and hit reblog

[REDACTED]

[REDACTED]?

Okay let me spell it out for you…

beyoncescock:

billyteddys:

so i was talking to my dad about guardians of the galaxy and when i mentioned chris pratt my dad sighs and says “I dont know how parents could be mean enough to name their child after a fried rodent” and i sat there looking really confused and he just whispered “crisp rat.”

this is the end

reasonforconcern:

snaics:

misterpoptarts:

i have been sitting in this burger king for 4 hours

they don’t come to take your order you have to go to the counter

theorydictatespractice:

Stop wasting your time with individuals who aren’t really all about you. Stop trying to force connections that aren’t all there, or telling yourself that maybe the reason love isn’t happening for you is because your expectations are too high. It’s not unrealistic to desire a partner that is attentive to your needs and wants, and who puts in the effort to not only get to know you, but keep you happy and feeling secure. Don’t compromise the things you value in a relationship for people who keep missing the mark. Your time could be much better spent. Some day someone is going to walk into your life and make you realize just why you should never settle, and they will be so bold and clear with their love that you’ll never have to think twice.

destructionofsanctum:

bullysquadess:

bullysquadess:

bullysquadess:

honestly? im done with the lies. being little spoon fuckign sucks okay? it really does. its hot and sweaty and cramped and you better believe that arm wrapped around you is gunna go from “acceptable foreign weight” to “there is a literal blue whale colony collapsed atop you” in about 2 minutes flat. yall forreal want a FLESH BLANKET encasing you??? a goddamn slab prison of human skin and Person Tissue draped across your corporeal form??? find a God and grovel for redemption.

being big spoon though? divine. precious. it grants the sensation of being a benevolent egg white, swaddled loosely within your blanket shell as you in turn cradle the precious yolk within your grasp. you are a sublime deity of warmth and comfort, one who may bestow your blessing on any mortal you deem fit. an unparalleled joy to perform.

and you can grab a tit ty

can yall please stop reblogging this post i made after eating three entire packages of marshmallow peeps washed down with a near-deadly amount of nyquil 

Just say you’re a top and move on OP

thyrell:

agoatinthecircus:

thyrell:

thyrell:

a necromancer is just a really late healer

“you’re too late, doc, he’s…he’s already dead…”

*cracks knuckles* i didnt get my medical license revoked for nothing

i like idea of a necromancer that can bring back the dead but doesnt know how to cure the living so has to wait for someone to die before bringing them back

“hey doc do you have any splints I think I fractured my ankle”

*cocks gun* no but I’ll do you one better